In all of this life’s greatest adventures, the biggest one remains the big L, Love. From the very young age, love is at the forefront of our minds. It is in our human nature to dream of it, wait for it, pursue it and when we find it we seek to preserve it. One thing that I have realized is that love is a cycle. It is a repetition of the same steps over and over and it is one of the most unending greatest adventures of life. I have gathered few steps that make up the cycle of a long lasting love.
Love of Self
Loving yourself is the first step to the cycle of love. Learning to love yourself, to embrace your flaws and to forgive your shortcoming can be one of the hardest step but it is the first one to being successful in the game of Love. You know the saying to do onto others as you want them to treat you? Well knowing your worthy and your wants and needs before anyone else does will help you know how you want to be treated and therefore how to treat others. It is very important to learn how to self-love the right way in order to be able to direct the other person on how to love you the best. Once you master the art of self-love and understand your self-worthy nothing from the outside will shake your confidence and your drive to get the love you know you deserve, you will not settle for less than and you will not tolerate being treated lesser than you deserve.Once you love yourself well enough and understand your self-worth you won’t crave to be loved, you will choose to be loved.
Once you love yourself well enough and understand your self-worth you won’t crave to be loved, you will choose to be loved.
Knowing how to give love is the second step to this cycle of the game of love. Once you have found a person that you know you love, it is then the responsibility to learn how to communicate that love the right way. When the person you love now is on the same page of self-love, this step will not be as much of a struggle. The relationship you are entering now will be proofed of insecurities, constant need for assurance and unending “what ifs”. It has been proven that love can be shown or given differently for each person, knowing how to give the right way takes time, observation and communication between the parties involved in a relationship. You should pay attention to cues and signs that may point you in the right direction, nothing hurts like spending a lot of time and effort on showing someone you love them just to find out you are using the wrong channels.
A young nephew of mine was visiting one day and we went on a drive, we talked about love and life and one of his comments stuck in my mind. I was talking about a guy I was seeing at the time who ended up becoming my husband and his comment were “Do you feel and know deep down that you are loved”? This sunk in really deep and I kept thinking about that question all night long. I had never really taken time to really look deep and make sure that I know that I am loved. It is the responsibility of both parties in a relationship to make sure that each other knows deep that they are loved. In a relationship it is important to receive and accept the love that is given to us.
Finding and maintaining common interest
Having shared interests builds up a relationship as a team. This helps spending time together effortless. Knowing that you can create and share memories of activities and things you both enjoy create a stronger bond. It also makes a friendship grow because you actually hang out and it helps each of you to see yourselves in each other and enhances the fact that of belonging together. You feel less isolated and less like strangers. It is also important to make sure that as you evolve and change along with your hobbies and interests, you leave room and nurture the interest you share and discover new ones together.One thing that is certain in any relationship is the fact that your partner will not change for you but that they will change nevertheless.
One thing that is certain in any relationship is the fact that your partner will not change for you but that they will change nevertheless.
Nurturing and preserving personal interest
I used to say that I have very little hobbies, I would go with the flow and I enjoyed it, but at certain points in different friendships, I started to realize that my voice was being lost. In order to not lose yourself, you will need to have interest that keeps you intact as an individual. Being always in attachment to the other person can create a form of dependency that may lead to you starting to shrink that authentic self you worked hard to love in the beginning. There must be some form of “you time” to reconnect with yourself or just invest in other activities outside of the one your love relationship. Give yourself time and space to do what you personally enjoy doing that isn’t necessarily your partner’s cup of tea.